Tonight is the annual Thanksgiving dinner at our church. I should be excited about that, anxious to see all my friends. But I'm not. For some reason, I'm experiencing all those old feelings of not wanting to be around large groups of people. That horrible feeling of insecurity. Not sure I belong anywhere - especially HERE. Rationally, I know this is all a bunch of bunk. I should suck it up and have a wonderful evening. Wish it was that easy. In fact, maybe it is. I'll spend the next few minutes preparing myself emotionally (spiritually?) and do my best to spend the evening with a smile on my face, even if I can't muster that glow in my heart. I've learned in the past few years that, if I can fake it well enough, I can sometimes fool even myself.
A change of attitude. A change of heart. A change of perspective. A wonderful outcome. I won't settle for less.