I want to be "a woman of faith." Instead, I find myself becoming tired, more tired, and most tired - physically, emotionally and (yes, I admit it) even spiritually. I don't understand why miracles don't occur EVERY time we ask, if we're doing our best to live an upright life before God. I don't understand why miracles happen one time and not another. What's the formula? Is there a secret code? Doesn't God see or care?
I rest in knowing that He DOES see, and He DOES care. That's why He has given me some priceless relationships with special friends along the way. That's why He has given me such a special man to spend my life with. That's why He gave us two wonderful children, a precious daughter-in-law and five super grandchildren. That's why my extended family, on both sides, is so unbelievably supportive and affirming. He cares and He sees. Some of it is left up to me.
Even when I'm feeling my weakest, I know that I can hang onto Him. He never weakens, gets tired of supporting me, or turns a deaf ear. What a comfort! So, at the moment, I'm just hanging. Sometimes it's barely by a toenail, but "this, too, shall pass." I've put on my armor, and I'm standing my ground.
King James Version (KJV)
12For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.
13Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.
14Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness;
15And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace;
16Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked.