Friday, March 13, 2009

Battle of the Bulge

I've learned through the years that I exercise very little self-control where eating is concerned. For all my early life, I was painfully thin. I ate anything I wanted and in the quantities I desired without any ill-effects at all. Even after each baby, within six weeks I was two pounds lighter than I was when I got pregnant. Now, I've rolled into my 60s. Things have changed. Honestly, it began before then, but 60 seems to be some kind of mile-marker for most. I've discovered bulges in places that used to court long and lean. What happened? One sweet niece recently joined a gym; she's hoping to win the battle of the bulge by working out. That hurts my back and makes me all sweaty. Eeeeewww! I have a treadmill, but it's seldom used. I like walking the park, but Don hardly lets me out of his sight anymore. Anyway, on many days my "get up and go" got up and went! What to do? What to do? It might help if I cut portions, but then I'd likely pitch the leftover food that could be used to feed hundreds of children in China or India or someplace like that. (I ALWAYS cook more than it takes to feed the two of us.) A guilty conscience isn't worth the effort. What about eating more healthy - lots of fresh fruit and veggies? Actually, I've done that. But I love fruit, and I end up eating it by the basketful. Sounds like a self-control issue, doesn't it? I think I've come up with a solution, though. There's this wonderful under-garment that you can buy and it "automatically" removes those unwanted pounds, along with all the unsightly bags and bulges. I bought one. It kinda works! Getting in and out of the thing is enough exercise to last a week. I think I'm going to lose weight just putting the thing on. I'm the winner!!!

4 comments:

dulce de leche said...

I agree completely with your reasoning on exercise, dieting, and portions/waste! And I need one of those undergarments, too...

Blessed Mama said...

Is that the Spanx you were telling me about?

granny2five said...

Yes, it's Spanx. (I didn't know if I was under Federal regulation against saying the product name on-line. Isn't that sort of like tearing the tags off mattresses and pillows?)

Stephanie said...

This is hilarious...