Monday, December 28, 2009

I'm Human - VERY Human

I have felt the stress of the holidays (and everything else) the last couple days, and today in particular. I allow how other people feel about me to completely dictate my life at times; this is one of those times. There is a person that I'm in frequent contact with who has made it no secret that they find it difficult to be around me. I honestly feel that I've bent over backward to pacify - but maybe that's wishful thinking. It's going to be necessary for me to be working with this person within the next few days, and I'm almost making myself physically ill with dread. Why can't I just put it out of my mind, let it slide off my back, and go my merry way? Don't know. I think just writing it out helps release a bit of the tension, though. I suppose it's okay that not everyone likes me. In fact, I guess it's okay that some people can't STAND me. But it doesn't make me happy. I'm not content with that.

So, I'm struggling emotionally - and hating it. I've been down this road before. I don't like the journey. I will make a conscious effort to turn my thoughts to positive things when negative thoughts crowd their way in. I will not dwell on hurtful things that have been said and done. I will be a better person for all that I'm battling. Okay. That's my positive confession. Now, to carry it through to fruition!


dulce de leche said...

(((Hugs))). I question the judgment of anyone who doesn't like you. I know that one hurtful voice can drown out dozens of loving ones, but please know that we love you forever and like you for always.

Stephanie said...

I like being around you. : )