Monday, April 12, 2010

Sometimes I Need a Reminder

I had a routine doctor's appointment this morning. I was anxious to go. I've been what I feel is excessively tired lately, and my left foot has been hurting to the point that I'm unable to wear heels. I know. I know. That's a "pride" issue, but I do like to dress up occasionally. I had blood work done last week and was hoping the doctor had an easy solution for me. I honestly told him that I had felt unusually weary in recent weeks and wondered if, maybe, my B12 levels were low again or my gluclose count was high. He had my blood results sent in to him, and everything looked fine - better than at some other times, in fact. I felt a bit uneasy, and he began to talk to me. (I should mention that our general practitioner is a born-again believer, and I have great confidence in his relationship with God.) Apparently, the reason I'm tired is that I have so much "extra" on me at the moment. Did I need to be reminded that stress can wear me down? I guess so. He asked me how I slept, and I commented that I NEVER slept a full night and rarely got more than a couple consecutive hours of sleep. I have sleep aids (sleeping pills), but I really don't like to take them. At this point, I was tearing up. I told him that it somehow seemed "unChristian" to rely on sleep aids to help me get a night's rest, and I was embarrassed that I wasn't strong enough to deal with the added stress without it showing on me physically. By this time, he's crying, too! My wonderful doctor reminded me how that I couldn't be my best for Don if my body was too exhausted to function. Also reminded me that I should stop worrying about what people might think and try to do what is best for myself and Don at this point in my life. What a revelation! I know all those things, but I needed them brought to my remembrance.

He took the time to have my ankle x-rayed. No broken bones, but I have apparently strained or sprained it within the last few weeks. I don't even remember doing it.

So, nothing has changed, but I feel a little more capable of dealing with life on a day to day basis than I did first thing this morning. That's a good feeling.


dulce de leche said...

Many hugs to you. God gives us rest and strength in many different ways, including meds at times. No judgment from me!

nvogue2000 said...

Take a pill and call me in the morning!! I love you, and you're amazing -- before and still!